


This is farewell, this is goodnight

by orphan_account



Series: The last time she will see the daylight [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Clarke Griffin-centric, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, POV Clarke Griffin, The 100 (TV) Season 6, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27100906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Today is the day Clarke Griffin dies.
Series: The last time she will see the daylight [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979477
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	This is farewell, this is goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> Title of series and work from Aurora's song Awakening.

Today is the day she dies.

That is the first thought on Clarke’s mind as soon as she opens her eyes first thing in the morning. Morbid, she admits to herself, yes, but true; besides, no one has ever accused Clarke Griffin of being a cheery kind of person, they had certainly accused her of many things in her 25 years of life, she thinks bitterly, but never of having a happy character. 

She rises and goes about her daily morning routine slowly, no sense in hurrying things up seeing as she’ll never get to wake up again after today ends. She sits down on her tiny dining table to eat breakfast, one of her favorites she had come to know, a round tan bread filled to the brim with jam from some foreign Sanctum fruit, an extravagant breakfast considering her standards after the hardships she went through on earth but if this is in fact her last meal then she intends to have whatever sense of enjoyment she can before she’s gone. 

The weeks leading up to today she had spent them making arrangements and tying up whatever loose ends she had in preparation for her departure. She thinks of the plans she had made for her family after today, Madi will be well taken care of by Gaia and she has no doubts that Indra will also step up once she hears the news of her disappearance; she had made sure to talk to Gaia about her plans of going on a daytrip to search for medicinal plants on the outskirts of the radiation shield later today and when she inevitably doesn’t come back she’s certain Gaia will take a guardian role over Madi, even more than she is now, Clarke thinks bitterly, the white haired woman acting as if she was the one who was there for Madi after the events of Praimfaya, acting like a mother, and the younger girl letting her and seemingly forgetting about Clarke.

Clarke’s relationship with Madi had been estranged ever since she had woken Madi up from cryo, the younger girl angry at Clarke for having left Bellamy to fight in the pits and for wanting the flame out of her head; Clarke would like to think that Madi’s vicious anger comes from a place of newly teenage hormones and the commanders’ voices inside her head but the jaded, bitter and too often disappointed part of her tells her not to listen to that foolish naïve side of her soul. 

As for Bellamy, considering that they haven’t had a real conversation that doesn’t involve political talk ever since arriving in Sanctum and becoming one of the Lightbourne’s guests, she will bet on not caring about her being gone, if there’s a chance of him feeling sadness or maybe even regret, she is sure that his new family will be there for him. She really shouldn’t fault him for having found a support group up in the Ring but Clarke is tired of being the rational one while everyone else gets the right to rage, tired of always putting everyone else’s needs before her own, all the while having no one do the same for her. So yes, Bellamy will be alright, will feel guilty, she’s certain, because he wouldn’t be Bellamy is he without a little guilt, but he’ll recover. 

Her mother will be too doped up on drugs to even notice her absence, though she’s sure that Kane will use her death as a way to try to bring the person her mother was back so maybe Clarke will be finally doing something right for once, she bitterly thinks. 

As for the rest, Clarke muses as she chews on the last of her bread, she’d be lucky to even get a reaction; her relationship with Raven not being at its best before Praimfaya and only getting worse after she came down from space, to think that she had once considered Raven her sister is laughable, what with all the shit coming from the other girl that she has to put up with on a daily basis now; side eyes and glares every time Clarke so much as passes by Ryker’s garage on her way to the med center every morning, the not so quiet snide remarks she hears coming from Raven’s side of the table when she’s getting lunch in the rec area; the old relationship which once brought her comfort now becoming a part of her daily hell.

Clarke gets up from the table and washes the dirty dishes, a useless task when she thinks about it given that she’ll be dead soon but she still does it, she wants to leave everything where it belongs, not a thing in disarray so that no one can complain or criticize her any more than they have been.  
She proceeds to get dressed in her usual clothes and heads out of her little cabin, she can feel the warmth of the two suns atop her, feels the breeze caress her skin and is suddenly overcome with the knowledge that this will be the last time she will see the daylight, her favorite thing and what she obsessed over the most during her time in the Ark; more sadly than that is the fact that she doesn’t have it in her to care about it which solidifies her decision even more than before, steeling her spine and putting in her face her last fake smile for the world, Clarke starts walking.


End file.
